ME, rats, & chemicals.

Hi Michelle…

Thanks very much for taking the trouble to write. Sorry to hear that you too are bothered by ME.
I'm also sorry to hear you come into contact with rats.

Being on a farm it’s inevitable that we should be in second-hand contact with the dreaded rat. They pee on things, and leave no visible trace.
I don't think my own case is connected to rats though. When I was first diagnosed, they ran a lot of tests for things like brucellosis and Weill's disease and they all showed a negative. But who knows…
The chemicals may have been contributory, however. Anne, my wife, strongly suspects so, at least. Our smallholding is organic, but when we were keeping sheep we needed to obey the law of the land and dip the poor beasts. Sheep dip derives from chemicals developed as nerve gas, and I was not best protected from it. (I go into this a bit more in 'Scenes'.)

I think my own case probably followed the classic path of nervous exhaustion followed by a flu virus. The exhaustion lowered my defences, and thus the flu got a deeper grip than it should have. So it seems, anyway… but illness is a very strange business. Nothing would surprise me.

Thanks very much for the hospital tip. I think I'm so much improved however, that I would only be wasting precious time in seeking treatment now.

For what it's worth, I think a strongly positive mental attitude is one's best ally against the debilitation ME brings. This doesn't mean railing and forcing yourself, but relaxing, accepting, and doing what is possible and worthwhile, in a gentle and attentive manner. I guess a Buddhist would put it more elegantly, but that's near enough!
More and more, since my own experiences, I'm drawn to the feeling that ME is Nature's way of drawing one's attention to the way we are living our lives, and encouraging purposeful introspection, as in Socrates' famous saying that 'a life unexamined is a life not worth living'. I can see what he meant now, whereas I don't think I did before I got ill.
For me, the resolution is summed up in the phrase 'I am a human being, not a human doing'. This sounds very trite and Christmas-crackery, but deep within it, it contains what I now think is a very deep and valuable truth.

Thanks again for writing. Have a great day.. and try to keep away from rats!
All best wishes Chas